Oh, How They Loved Each Other
by fuchsia-writes
Summary: What happens when Jem dies? Is it possible for Will and Tessa to finally be together? or will their loss keep them apart...
1. Chapter 1

**First chapter of a new story, I hope you enjoy, It will be a Tessa/Will fanfic. It's my first, so please be nice, and I appreciate constructive criticism. I may change the rating to an M later on, depending on the kind of sexual content I put in. **

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Tessa woke drenched in a cold sweat, her blankets rumpled around her body. The sun was just barely peaking over the trees that she saw out of her bedroom windows in the institute. The last week had been very strange and very stressful. Since the arrival of Cecily, Wills' younger sister whom until recently he had thought dead, Will had been spending every second of the day with her. They got up early and did not come home until after lunchtime, they arrived to dinner late and laughing, and they sat in each other's bedrooms every night and caught up on all they had missed the past few years. Tessa knew it made Jem happy to see Will and his sister reunited, though Tessa thought it probably got him down some times.

She thought of how it was when she had finally seen her brother, and known he was alive and well, after those months from when Will had rescued her from the Dark Sisters. Of cause that was before she found out her brother hated her and had been working for and betraying her to the Magister, and it turned out that he was just plain evil. All of a sudden, Tessa felt that something was not right. She decided to seek out the comfort of one of Jem's warm hugs. She threw back the mess of covers and tied a petticoat around her shoulders and over her nightgown, so as not to seem improper. After all her and Jem were not married yet. She opened her door quietly and tip toed to Jem's room, she quickly knocked on his door before entering.

Next thing the whole institute awoke to her shrill heart wrenching screams and sobs. First Henry and Will came running, followed by Charlotte and Sophie. Tessa lay on the floor shaking uncontrollably, Will is trying to wake Jem up, though Henry can see he is clearly dead. Sophie sinks down onto a seat in his room and tries to hold herself together, waiting for orders. Whilst Charlotte silently reaches down and allows Tessa to lean on her. She and Sophie half carry, half drag, Tessa back to her bed.

**~0~**

The funeral was not too big of an affair. The Branwells, Will, Cecily and Tessa sat in the front seats. Even Sophie was allowed to attend the funeral, while the Clave supplied other maids and staff for the catering and set up. The rest of the seats were filled with other Shadowhunters that associated with Jem. The funeral took place on the Institutes grounds on a cloudy summer day. Tessa weeped silently at the eulogies. Will was silent, though she saw a few tears escape his eyes during the funeral. At the end everyone went inside for tea and sandwiches. Will did not stay around for chit chat, rather he escaped to his room, just like he had every day since that dreadful night. Henry and Charlotte sullenly shook people's hands and accepted there gifts and cards. Tessa sat on a comfortable chair, gazed out the big window to where Jem's coffin still lay closed, and accepted people's condolences.

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**So that's the first chapter, I hope you enjoyed, yes I ship Tessa and Will.**

**I don't want Jem to die, though we all know he is going to. Please tell me if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, though I have checked. Maybe I missed some.**

**Next chapter coming soon (as I'm on holidays this week, I'll try to have at least one up). Please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

Tessa had been keeping to herself a lot over the past month. She did not eat every meal in the dining room anymore, as she used to. Henry and Charlotte were busying themselves a lot. Will also was not being his usual overconfident self, instead he locked himself away in his room and would not come out for days. This worried Tessa, though in her own grief she rarely had time to think about much other than the emptiness she felt. She had realised just how much she had loved Jem once he was no longer in her life, and it very nearly killed her. Tessa sat at her window singing a soft tune about a boy who lived in a small village and cried at the lonely moon, to herself. When she heard a knock at her door, she stopped with a small jump.

"I am not hungry," She called at the door, hoping that whoever was outside wouldn't insist that she come down and eat with most of the other residents. "You do realise it is very nearly three in the morning dont you, " asked Will's soft, tired voice. " Oh," Tessa had not realised that time had once again slipped away from her, "Well you may come in." She really did miss talking to Will. Ever since he had told her about his true feelings towards her, they had barely spoken . All he had said to her was a 'congratulations' of sorts, at her and Jem's wedding. Will walked in, Tessa did not turn around, though she spied his reflection in her window. He sat on her bed, it was probably most unbecoming of a widow to have a man sitting on her bed. Though as they were both filled with grief, and very numb neither really minded. "I have a book for you to read," Will placed a book on her bed and stood to leave. Tessa finally turned to look at him. "Would you mind reading some of it to me?" She asked. She felt terribly tired, though she knew she would not be able to sleep. Maybe if he read to her it would let her mind relax, it had worked when she was a child and her aunt read her to sleep.

Will agreed, and Tessa went and laid down on her bed, he noticed how she did not get under the covers and guessed that she too did not get a full night's sleep. They would both rather sleep on top of the sheets, so that they would not wake in a sweat. Tessa closed her eyes and let Will's words drift over her. His voice, angelic like in his near sleeping state, tickled her ears like a whisper and abled her mind to relax.

Will watched her sleep, her eyes closed, her forehead no longer wrinkled in worry, her breathing steady and soft. He watched her chest move up and down, and although his best friend was no longer in his life, he was immensely relieved that the woman he loved was.

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**Sorry that this chapter is short, I promise my chapters will be longer once this story line starts to flow. I'm getting a bit of writers block (already). I also must apologize for the amount of time it took for me to upload tihs chapter /: **

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favourites. I was very surprised and pleased that this story has received so much positive feedback in a short amount of time. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Haii everyone, I'm sorry that I have not updated this story in a long time. School has been hectic. In fact I should be completing my english and my art assignments right now /: oh well, it can wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter, the story is slowly moving along, and I also tried to make this chapter longer. **

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Tessa decided that in order to start living her life again she needed her friends. So she called Sophie to her room and asked her to dress her. It wasn't that Tessa couldn't dress herself, just that she no longer had the energy to. Growing up poor, her family hadn't had a maid.

"I'm glad you are feeling better Miss,' Sophie informed her. Tess replied with a small smile and walked out of the room. She thought about running back to her room and shutting herself in, a few times during the long walk to the dining room, though she knew it was not good for her to continue to disconnect herself from the world anymore. When she walked into the dining room, Henry and Charlotte were already eating. Will strolled in behind her, sat down, and started eating. He did not bother waiting for anyone else, always the gentlemen, Tessa thought sarcastically to herself. It upset her that Jem was not sitting in his seat, being annoyed by Will and gazing lovingly at Tessa. Everyone turned to loom at her, in surprise, as she sat down.

"Good evening Tessa," Charlotte greeted her. Will pretended she was not there and Henry nodded to her. The room was too quiet for Tessa's liking. "How's the baby coming along?" she asked Charlotte, whose belly was starting to get bigger every month. "Just fine, we expect the child to be born in around four month's time," She replied, "I would really appreciate it if you were there for the birth." She smiled encouragingly at Tessa. Tessa promised she would be there, though she was a little taken aback. She had not realised Charlotte and her had been so close.

**~0~**

After dinner, Tessa had a warm bath and lay in bed to calm herself. Unfortunately, nothing, not even her books, seemed to relax her. Her mind was racing and she wanted to walk. Tessa felt a little bit more alive after her interaction with her friends. She lit a candle, put on her nightgown and left her room. She started walking down the hall, it felt strange not to hear Jem's beautiful violin music this late at night. Tessa was humming to herself and remembering times from her childhood when she heard the shuffling of someone's steps. As she turned around the light from her candle bounced off the stone walls. When she saw Will's face, her heart sped up. She did not understand why, she did not want those feelings for him any longer. She felt that she did not deserve the emotions she felt towards Will, it made her feel as if she was betraying Jem.

"I thought I'd find you up tonight." He looked at her warily, he wanted to be closer to her, to touch her so he knew she was still with him. Since Jem had died, Will had only had his sister and the Branwells as company. Though Tessa was, the only person left that he had the capacity to feel anything for. She noticed him staring at her. A shiver went down her spine as she realised just how deep his stare penetrated her, she felt as though he was looking right into her. Into her soul, even. "Walk with me?" she asked him, hoping he would not reject her. When he agreed, with a nod of his head, her heart swelled. At that notion, she started to feel terribly guilty and was going to excuse herself, though Will had already grabbed hold of her hand. Moreover, it seemed from the way he held it, both strong and gently at the same time, that he would not be letting go.

They strolled through the halls not saying much, their shadows thrown across the walls in the flickering candle light. Some time passed, maybe hours, when they arrived outside of Tessa's door. "I shall bid you goodnight," Will informed her. She was disappointed to leave his company after being alone for so long. Though Tessa felt that this was a step in the right direction to get back whatever strange friendship they had ever had. She whispered good night and he gave her a quick hug that froze her on the spot.  
As she watched him walk away she silently began to cry as she realised that she still very much, possibly never stopped, loving Will Herondale.

**~0~**

Will thinking to himself in his room after saying Goodnight to Tessa.

_I should have told her I loved her from the beginning. I could have gone to Magnus Bane at any time and asked him for help with that wretched useless demon. That bastard, he tore apart my family, he made me the monster I am today. My family, when will I see them again, when can I tell them I still love them? They must hate me so much. Oh, I am a fool. I push away everyone I love. Tessa will never forgive me, and no matter that I loved her first I still feel that I am betraying Jem for loving her so much. Damn it I should have died, not Jem, he could have done so much for everyone. He would have been a good husband for Tessa, he would have made her happy. I just hurt her, why am I doing this. Why dont I run away? Is there anyone listening? Is there anyone in there, in my head? Please, please, tell me how to make this right._

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**One more quick thing, should I start a _Haven_ faniction? I ship Audrey and Nathan (: **


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